Condemning Parents and a Condemning God

Ash grandpa laugh

James 1:19-20; “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

I have a friend who finds it easy to perceive God as loving her through it all. My husband easily thinks of God as loving, and forgiving our daily sins of omission and commission while accepting each of us separately and personally.

I, on the other hand, have found that concept more difficult to make a part of me. They each seem to take this knowledge in as naturally as breathing. Both know that they will mess up often in a day’s time and yet they have no doubt that God is not surprised and that He is fully ready to correct, forgive and move on in strong, loving and continuous relationship with them.

Oh, it isn’t that I don’t know that He loves me and died in my place. But I still find myself relieved when I read something or someone says something that reminds me that God is not frustrated with me because of a heart attitude, or because I miss being strong, or joyful or bold or quiet.

Of course, I do have the wrong attitudes often, whether it shows or not. I do “miss” many opportunities to quietly wait in His Presence or speak out boldly with His guidance. My view of His displeasure means that whether I realize it or not I am often struggling with the thought that God is disappointed or even disgusted with how I feel, what I do and who I am. The filter through which I view God’s love for me is faulty.

Our children will also perceive themselves and God through many filters. One of those filters will be how they experience Dad and Mom’s words and actions of love and acceptance. If what we say as parents is cutting and harsh during the stressful times, our words of love and acceptance during other times will rarely correct and balance out the negative view of themselves that we have previously carved out.

When we stop and honestly reflect on how our anger impacts our children (and others), it doesn’t take much to see the truth in James 1:19-20; “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

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