“Don’t speak ‘What If?’…But ‘What Is!’ Don’t speak, ‘What if nothing ever changes?’ But… speak, ‘God is faithful!’” Jennifer Rothschild
What a good word. You can take that into every fear and dread you have.
“What if…my husband dies before I do?” You should immediately (intentionally) remember that God IS faithful and…He has promised to be your husband. I know from experience…He will take care of you. It doesn’t mean you don’t get lonely and even desperate at times.
But… take that loneliness or desperation to God as many times a day as it descends on you. He will fill the loneliness with new thoughts. Sometimes He will bring you a kindness from a friend or stranger, or fresh contentment as you rehearse Who He is!
“What if…I lose my job…my home…my marriage…my financial security…life as I know it?” You know, I have been there and I can tell you that God is faithful! It is terrible to lose all of those things at once. Add to that my car, my identity as I thought it was, my past as I thought it was. The truth as I knew it. My health as I knew it.
I don’t normally review the “list” of my losses when I think of those days. But the truth is…my losses should have crushed me. The truth is…God was (and is) faithful! He has blessed me beyond measure.
But now…there is “this one new terrifying thing”. Despite God’s faithfulness to me, I can still feel desperate. I still forget. I still have pockets of days where I am trying frantically to push my head above water before I drown. How foolish when I know God faithful. I have seen His faithfulness…His hand of deliverance. I have experienced His answers to prayer over and over again.
I don’t think the desperation is because I don’t believe Him. I think it is because I have this huge desire to see Him move…change the circumstances…heal. There has been so much confusion, so much pain, so much loss in this particular season. I want so badly to see His miraculous works. But what that honestly means is… I want to see His miraculous works in the way I have them conjured up in my head. A fairy tail ending…soon.
Still…God IS faithful. He sees the beginning, middle and end. I have seen glimpses of changes in the lives of those around me that have been…miraculous. Changes in each of us that would have never happened…had it not been for these particular losses.
God is trustworthy! You can trust Him. He knows what you need…what I need…what those around me need. I don’t. I want to spare them (and me). He knows to spare us would be wrong. We want to hang on. He knows hanging on will keep us buried. He knows the (often painful) way to help us release our grip.
Then…He knows the way to move each of us forward as changed, healthier, people. We are now finally closer to the place in space He has intended for us during all the years we have hung on to our own (destructive, faithless) version of control…of life.
It is a painful process, for sure…but oh the difference He has made in each of us! Oh the difference He will continue to make as you and I lean into Him…surrender to (stop fighting) His ways…His surgery and His healing touch!
Isaiah 55:6-9 (NLT) 6 Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. 7 Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously. 8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.