We believe…we don’t believe…we hope to believe. Our hope is in Him!
Gosh…so many broken hearts. Families are in disarray…sometimes with seemingly no explanation. The relational pain within the family is so deep, so deadly that human logic will tell you this can never be made right.
Maybe you are experiencing physical pain. Maybe a disease is ravaging your body and making you feel ever so helpless. Sure, there are days you walk strongly by faith. But some days…some days it is all. just. too. hard.
Of course, what often follows a day (or pocket of days) of feeling nearly hopeless is a feeling of guilt and worthlessness. “I am not much of a Christian. Who am I to speak into the lives of others? I can’t even figure out my own life. I don’t know how to walk consistently in faith and joy. I need to hush…keep to myself. I have nothing to offer.”
I sat with a loved one going through such emotional pain that breath would almost not come. Tears could not be stopped. Oh…that we would not feel compelled to try to stop our tears. Of course, accompanied with the tears is often guilt and shame and loss of hope. “What could I have done differently? Why can’t I feel more ‘stable’?”
Guilt is also a tool of the enemy. He is good at waiting until we can hardly breath and then whispering his lies in our ears. Then the icing, “You are a weak Christian…you are a hypocrite…you have nothing to offer anyone else because you are such a failure.”
As I thought about my life and yours, I thought… “We believe…we don’t believe…we hope to believe. This…is being human.”
Oh yes…the books we read and even the blogs I write can make it seem like we should be completely strong all the time. I need to double check as I write in the future to be certain I am not leaving that impression. I bet I have…maybe more often than I can imagine.
Remember David’s Psalms? We all know he is all over the place emotionally. Strong one minute and weak the next. Yet…he was called, “A man after God’s own heart”. You know why? He kept coming back to our God for his strength and assurance, comfort and joy. He never walked away from God because he gave in completely to guilt or uselessness.
Remember in Matthew, the father of the child who so wanted his child healed, who said, “I believe…help my unbelief!” His child was healed, though his faith wavered.
Tenderly I remind you, remember Jesus? The One who came to earth to give His life? In so much emotional pain, knowing what He was about to experience, Jesus…even sinless Jesus said, “Oh Lord…if it can somehow be your will, please don’t let this happen to me.” Then He said, “But your will, not mine.”
You see…Jesus was an example of what it is to struggle with our humanity and our faith.
Like you and I, the child’s father was human. David was human. Jesus was (yes fully God) but also fully human.
As we continually return to Him and renew our faith and strength by His Spirit, we too, are men and women after His own heart.
We believe…we don’t believe…we hope to believe.
Our hope is in Him!
Psalm 147:3 (ESV) 3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:6 (ESV) 6 The LORD lifts up the humble; he casts the wicked to the ground.
James 1:2-4 (ESV) 2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Revelation 3:21 (NIV) 21 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.